Aed jokes
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."