Aed jokes

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

Q. What makes music on your hair?

A. A headband!

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.

What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!

When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

Why can't a T-Rex clap?

He's dead.

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"