Aed jokes
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Oh a toaster for a PC? how unsanitary
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.