Aed jokes

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.

Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

There should be a "kick an orphan" day.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

Time for a Terraria joke.

What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?

A gold digger.

(play the game or watch some vids to understand)

Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the look on its face as you climax.