Aed

Aed jokes

Problem

    • I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

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    • Sex

    • Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

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    • Grenade launcher

    • Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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    • Frog

    • A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.

    The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.

    Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"

    The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

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    • Aed memes

    Difference

    • What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

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    • Blonde

    • A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

    So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

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    • Misunderstanding

    • When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.

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    • Name

    • Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

    Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

    Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

    Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

    Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

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    • Bike

    • You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

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    • Wish

    • "This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

    "You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

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    • Octopus

    • A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

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