Locomotive jokes

Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?

They say he had locomotives.

How does a train eat?

It goes, "chew chew."

Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?

Because it has a tender behind.

What do you call a train that likes toffee?

A chew-chew train.

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)

What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!

Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?

I like trains.

*train hits him*

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train!

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

What do you need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record.

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."