Aed jokes
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)