Aed jokes

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!

Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

I made a website for orphans.

It doesn't have a home page.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?

Fur Traders.

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️