Aed jokes
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"