Aed jokes

"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Why are orphans not that good at baseball?

They can never hit a homerun.

Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.

What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?

Captain Rhyme.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

What do you call a dick with three eyes?

Preston.

Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.