Aed jokes
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.