Aed jokes
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Fill it out if u want
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!