Aed jokes
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*