Aed jokes

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?

Sneakers.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?

Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"