Aed jokes
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
Feminists are a joke.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.