Aed jokes
Stephanie has a great thumb!
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
Water, tastes that one tap in school:
A tier water at 3 am.
S tier.
12 pm water f tier.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.