Aed jokes

Why did the ass start a gardening service?

It was great at dropping SEEDS.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

Trump got a new jet.

He's probably already licked the windows.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?

Probably a plane. (:

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.

Why don't terrorists like Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.