Aed jokes

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

What is a snake's favorite drug?

Adder-all.

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

I'm a joke supremacist.

Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?