Aed jokes
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.