Aed jokes

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.

The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bum.

Bum who?

Bum holding a pistol!

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

I hate you, Gwen. You are a stupid idiot!

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Woahhhhhhh, we’re halfway theeeere! WOAHHHHHHH OHHHH, Squidward on a chaIIIir!

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

What do you call a redhead in a fridge?

I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.

Tarik is a retard.