Aed jokes
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...