Aed jokes
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
Meme:
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.