Aed jokes
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Obama has dih.
But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
I just went to a Halloween party for rappers and rap DJs from the Czech Republic, and everyone was dressed in the same costume! I couldn't tell which witch was Wich!
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose