Aed jokes
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."