Aed jokes
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.