Aed jokes

Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?

I hear they got six months each.

OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

What is a room you can not enter?

A mushroom.

Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.

I got hit by a bus.

But the bus was my ex.

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...

What is the name of a show for kids?

Barney.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

What did a fat cow give you?

Homework.

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!