Aed jokes
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.