Aed jokes
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
A blue Winston.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Q: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved! 🙃
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.