Aed jokes
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
When is a cold not a cold?
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."