Aed jokes
You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?