Aed jokes
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.