Aed jokes
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.