Aed jokes
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.