Aed jokes

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

What is a monkey with a head?

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:

"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"

"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."

"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"

"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"

"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

What is mad cow disease?

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

I made a website for orphans.

It doesn't have a home page.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.