Aed jokes
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"