Aed jokes

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."

Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"

My friend is a pimp.

I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.

The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a terrorist in a bath?

A bath bomb.

What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?

A boomerang comes back.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

Why don't terrorists like Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?

A car thief who can't drive.

If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

What do you call a dick?

Suck my dick!