Aed jokes

Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?

Because he couldn't breathe.

Obama has dih.

But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.

Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?

A: A rapist.

What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

Air has resistance.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.

I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

An officer confronts two congressmen.

He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"

The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.