Aed jokes

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

A black cat will be racist next.

Why is a ghost so predictable?

Because you can see right through it.

What is a deaf person's favorite game?

Charades.

What is the best game for a deaf person?

Charades.

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A saltshaker.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.