Aed jokes
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
I don't have a joke. Keep looking.
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
Why do orphans hate Geometry?
Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
I know this is a very corny joke.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.