Aed jokes
What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Mase looks like a fat gay dude.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.
You're so ugly you got stuff for free.
You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.
You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.
You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"