Aed jokes
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.