Aed jokes
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?
They/Them.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”