Aed

Aed jokes

Mom

    • Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

    Kid: Sure.

    Mom: Knock knock.

    Kid: Who's there?

    Mom: Not yo.

    Kid: Not yo who?

    Mom: Not yo father.

    Kid: Not yo husband either.

    Chrome

    • Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

    Compliment

    • I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

    Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

    Finger

    • I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

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    • Poison

    • A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

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    • Food

    • "Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

    "He died."

    "Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

    (After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

    Suicide

    • I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

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    • Suicide

    • I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

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    • Pinata

    • Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

    Angel

    • Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

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