Aed jokes
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."
What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.