Aed jokes
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.