Aed jokes
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.
Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!