Aed jokes
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.