Aed jokes
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."