Aed jokes
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?
So they can climb a fence easier.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.