Aed

Aed jokes

Fish

    • Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

    Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

    Woman

    • Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

    "Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

    I suppose that was a fair compromise!

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    • City

    • When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

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    • Murder

    • Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

    I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

    He could have married her!

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    • Name

    • My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

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    • Orphan

    • What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

    The Chinese kid has a home.

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    • Gun

    • I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

    Pineapple

    • Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

    The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

    The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

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