Aed jokes
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."