Aed jokes
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?