Aed jokes
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."