Aed jokes
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.