Aed jokes
Bonnie Blue's son could win a science fair just by participating.
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.