Aed jokes
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
Roses are tree.
I shoved a battery up my butt.
Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
I want to be a bag so we can be together.
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.