Aed jokes
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...