Aed jokes
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."