Aed jokes
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.