Aed jokes
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.